Never trust a product, in this case a book, when the title says “You Know You Love It.” I will admit that I certainly do love “it” when it means BDSM. I love BDSM. I don’t love this book though or the author’s representation of the BDSM world. In fact, reading this book was more torture than this simple masochist could handle. This memoir would have been better titled “You Know You Shouldn’t Read This” or “Beware, Boring and Unnecessary is Ahead.” Either way, this was one review I would have much rather left in the dirt; far under the dirt where no one could ever find this pointless, narcissistic drivel.
I had never heard of Ms. Paris before reading this book. After reading it I can safely say I would have rather been left in the dark. There are so many things that bother me about this book of “lessons” that I am not sure I know where to begin. First let me say, if you’re not the standard variety want-to-be bored or boring, desperate housewife then this book probably isn’t something you will be able to relate to. Second, if you have enough BDSM knowledge to know what the acronym stands for, this book probably also is not for you.
The information pointed towards those in need of sexual mischief make me scoff, but the information on BDSM made me want to shut the book on more than one occasion. In fact, in the entire book, there was one section that I liked. The section was at the end of the book and contained a set of shopping links. The rest I would have gladly shredded just to ensure I never see it again.
This book is meant to offer people who need help and information about sexual mischief, as Paris puts it. However, I am still not sure what, if anything, I learned, other than to be much more careful when picking review material. If you have any knowledge about sex this ends up being a book that offers nice shopping links and not a lot more than that. Other than that you might be considering how many paper airplanes need to be made to beat the world record and if there are enough bland and unneeded pages in this book to become the champion.
“You know You Love It” was written by a former professional dominatrix that was a bored housewife prior to becoming sexually free and getting paid for it. The pink book sports handcuffs on the cover though that cheesy, cliché aspect of the book was not what caught my eye at first. Actually the first thing I noticed was in a press release I had received. It said something to the effect of this book holds the key to opening up the sex lives (and offering naughty bedroom fun) for people playing the field or those that are stuck in long term relationships or marriages that have boring sex lives.
Personally, the idea of a dominatrix advocating BDSM for people that aren’t getting fucked the right way is bothersome to me. First of all, recommending anyone jump into BDSM is dangerous. Recommending they do it because the sex is better or it will cure your boredom is just plain ignorant. Then there is the whole issue that BDSM can exist peacefully without ever having sex involved.
People involved in BDSM probably won’t have a place for this in their library unless they know Paris personally. As for the other people reading this junk, I honestly hope that they consider all of the advice and “tales” that Paris is telling before they go out and try some of the things she mentions. For instance, I would honestly hope that someone would know better than to duct tape their lover if they have never used duct tape before (or even if they have) or to use handcuffs without understanding the possibility of what happens on the off chance that something goes wrong.
It’s not that I don’t like handcuffs. It’s just the idea of knowing that making them sound sexy and fun will convince some people that probably shouldn’t try them to try them makes me uncomfortable. People that panic under pressure don’t need to play with dangerous toys. The problem is that when people write books about the joys of adding BDSM into your boring sex life, they often neglect to mention how dangerous some simple items can become if something goes wrong, and surprisingly enough, it always manages to go wrong with the people that cannot handle the pressure.
If Paris had planned to write a BDSM manual, she should have done so with more consideration to those who would be reading it. I would have rather read a manual that recommended hookers to bored husbands, because at least the chance for safety is a little bit higher than putting a tiny amount of BDSM knowledge in a bored, horny person’s hands. Likewise, since this is half memoir, if she wanted to write one of those, she certainly should have. However, by adding both together, they book came out looking like a poor representation of her life and of BDSM. It couldn’t have been worse unless she left out the shopping links.
While I am sure that Paris meant well, the book came out being arrogant, self-serving, and grossly uneducated in basic areas of BDSM when it comes to teaching people, which was the point here. I understand that Paris’ interest in fucking her hot clients, despite trying to keep a moral standard, her dungeon experiences, and her ways to meet men while going to AA were all very important highlights of her life. However, they are also things that had little need to be in a BDSM manual. It would have been like if I wrote a book about car insurance and BDSM. That would not have went together either.
If you are new to the BDSM scene or interested in it and want to read something I implore you to choose something better than this. Look up Jay Wiseman. He has some excellent books and will explain all the finer points as they were meant to be explained. This can be thrown in the fire, because that’s about what this book is worth.
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Written by Ashtyn Evans - Visit Website
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